I Did, I Did, I Did

I Did...pages


A series of blogs of life in the world of the New Age

I Did, I Did, I Did

“I did this, then I did that, then I did the other, and now I’m gone.” This seems to be the new, New Age fashion. Announce to everyone what you are doing/have done and then walk away. Forget about interacting. Forget about, “how are you? What is new with you?” One-way communication is the name of the game.

Two weeks ago at the health food store I was approached by someone I had known about 10 years ago. They had moved away from the island a few years ago and were back for a short visit. The conversation went something like this:

Her: “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you! I’m here doing a very important function at the Hilton and I’m just here for the afternoon and evening, and I’ve been travelling and teaching, and all these people think so highly of me, I have so many students now, and it’s an honor for me to be doing this event tonight – my students wanted to come, but they couldn’t, and it’s been really great to see you and reconnect, I’m in a hurry – I’ve gotta run to be on time, bye!”

I think I only responded, bye back. Not once did she ask how I was doing, or what was up with me. Even being in a hurry she could have said, “I’d love to catch up, but I’m really short on time. Let’s figure a way and time we can connect properly.”

I felt like I was being delivered an advertisement for her life. I figure if a person has to do this, they must not be too happy or confident in their own life that they are unwilling to receive anything from yours.

I could have halfway believed the short on time bit, but for the fact that I was another 20 minutes in the store and when I checked out she was sitting in the car in the parking lot.

This isn’t the only example. More and more on social media people are sharing about their lives and what they are doing. Social media lends itself to this with the format of posting, however good social media gurus encourage engagement with others.

There’s a social media narcissism occurring. I’ve been requested to follow by a number of Instagramers. When I look at the account all but a couple of the 100+ photos are selfies – photos of themselves. Of these accounts I’ve seen two that were models who where promoting themselves – and in that instance, I think it is appropriate to have so many photos of themselves.

It rolls beyond social media into everyday life. People so focused on themselves and what they are doing there’s no room for other people in the exchange. Not everyone does this, but I’m seeing an increase in this in daily interactions.

It might be time to stop, look and listen to others around you. With today’s technology life has become full of sound bites – those 3 or 4 words that are supposed to sum it all up so that the message, idea, concept is transferred with the quickest speed possible. There’s a place for that, and there is a place for the complexity of us as human beings. We are more than 3 or 4 words we are layers of meaning. We exist beyond sound bites. Sound bites aren’t here to define us they are tools that can help us. It might be time to slow down and notice the people around us and spend time being with their complexity, letting them know they are seen and heard.

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Inner Guidance – Part 3 of 3

Inner Guidance 3


A series of blogs of life in the world of the New Age

Inner Guidance – Part 3 of 3

When you have a success and you notice your mind going to, “this makes me better/more spiritual/more deserving than everyone else,” that is the voice of negative ego. Stop, and reach for something deeper inside yourself. Say no to that urging to fall into “better than,” and find the place that says, “Yes, I’ve achieved this and if it weren’t for the others I may not have pushed myself to be the best I can be.” Negative ego is not the voice of inner guidance.

Equality, (which is not sameness) and uniqueness are foreign to the negative ego. Its survival is based on being special and above others. Negative ego interprets what happens and makes a judgment about it.

Without negative ego you might still experience jealousy or other constricting emotions, but you recognize them as your own issues. If they are yours, you can do something about them – clear and release them.

In following your inner guidance you need to develop discernment, trust and an ear for when it is true guidance, negative ego or some other part of you such as your inner child, or inner critic. With discernment, you can tell what is true inner guidance. It wouldn’t tell you things that jeopardize your survival, and it isn’t a “do as your told and don’t questions” kind of thing. You can ask for more clarity before taking action.

Above all, your inner guidance is for your benefit. Everyone has the ability to develop a relationship with his or her inner Spirit, Soul, Higher Power or Higher Self. Your inner guidance doesn’t tell you what everyone else should be doing, it tells you what and where you need to focus and the actions that are for your highest good.

(If you are interested and would like more information on topics like inner guidance and negative ego, you can check out the many offerings at Lazaris.com )

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Inner Guidance – Part 2 of 3

Inner Guidance 2


A series of blogs of life in the world of the New Age

Inner Guidance – Part 2 of 3

Each of us have our unique talents and abilities, areas in which we excel, but that does not make us spiritually above others. Negative ego deals in separation. It feeds on comparison and competition to feel better than, or worse than others for some form of identity and self-esteem.

This is different from healthy competition where people compete knowing they are bettering themselves and are grateful and honor their competitors. They see their own strengths and weaknesses as well as those of others around them and recognize that we can all help each other to be better.

Some of the greatest athletes, who can be the best in the world in their sport, are very humble. In their success they seek to encourage and raise their fellow competitors to be the best they can be. They know that success is not only winning races or winning a medal; it is about what they learn about themselves and how they compete against themselves to become better. It is not about putting down others so they can feel better about themselves.

Ego specialness sees others as a threat and actively works to squash anyone coming close in talent. I met a woman who was working on a self-help book at the same time I was writing my book on healing my relationship with my mother. She said to me, “What you’re doing isn’t real writing. My book is real writing.” It was an attempt to throw me into self-doubt, which didn’t work.

Later, she tried to engage me in a discussion of who had sold more books, her or me, as a way to determine who was a better writer, and therefore somehow the winner. I walked away from that discussion. Number of book sales does not determine who is a good writer. Whether a person is a mediocre, bad or good writer, they can always improve if they have the desire to.

(If you are interested and would like more information on topics like inner guidance and negative ego, you can check out the many offerings at Lazaris.com )

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Musings on the New Age – Blog Series

I’ve decided to start a series of blogs on my experiences of the new age. I’ve been a meditator for more than 30 years, have taken numerous courses in healing and energy work, and have attended too-many-to-count seminars to improve myself. I think many of us have been there, those who are interested in the same kinds of things.

While there is much good in the new age movement, there are some real eyebrow-raisers, too.  They seem to be more prevalent in recent years.  I hope you enjoy my musings as much as I’ve enjoyed writing them.

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Inner Guidance – Part 1 of 3

Inner Guidance1


A series of blogs of life in the world of the New Age

Inner Guidance – Part 1 of 3

Recently, I received an email from someone telling me that their inner guidance said that I was to be included in financially supporting them on their next project. They stopped working and sent out the email to a small group of people detailing their money needs for the next two months.

As I had helped this individual on a previous occasion, I declined to assist them now. It’s not that I don’t help people; I have, in many ways. Their response to my decision was, to paraphrase it, that I had been made a trust officer by whatever inner guidance they followed – an implication that I didn’t have a choice.

In my opinion, this is not inner guidance; this is ego – or more accurately negative ego. Inner guidance can be a beautiful, powerful tool for Spiritual Growth. Inner guidance is for you; it does not coerce, manipulate or condone blackmailing or pressuring others into specific actions or acquiescence.

What I’m talking about is different from those who do “readings” for others – receiving information on specific issues. In these instances, one person seeks this information out from the other. The important point being “sought out.” The individual seeks this information, then upon receiving it, decides if it is accurate and worth taking action on.

When a person shows up uninvited saying you’ve been selected, chosen or that you don’t have a choice in the matter it is manipulation, a spiritual form of the Nigeria scam.

Following inner guidance and intuition is not new. It has been around even before the new age. Inner guidance, when accurate, can be a source of inspiration, understanding and answers.

When I first learned about working with inner guidance – higher aspects of myself – our teacher cautioned us to be aware that our negative ego could interfere.

Negative ego seeks to trip you up, to insert itself into your decisions about yourself and others. It reveals itself in the use of terms suggesting specialness – superiority to others, or conversely being “less than,” the worst there is. It can lead a person thinking they are special and spiritually above others.

(If you are interested and would like more information on topics like inner guidance and negative ego, you can check out the many offerings at Lazaris.com )

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The Knot of Being Against

Colored Knot copy

The Knot of Being Against

By Nicole Lawrence

“Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win.”   – Sun Tzu

There is much in the world right now that is troubling and the natural inclination is to push against those things.  It’s important to know when to fight and when not to fight.  More important is to know when fighting may escalate a problem making it worse.

A lot of people want to fight against; to take a stand and fight.  This shows up in the “occupy” movements and among the many forms of protest that occur.  A lot of energy is being expended in the “fight against.”  I’m not saying that we should be compliant with what’s happening.  What I am addressing is the need to pay attention to the use of our energies in these situations.

All of this “fighting against” may be doing more harm than good in the long run. What if there was another way? What if the way lay not in fighting against but in “reaching for?”

One of the principles of metaphysics, reality creation – and Hawaiian Huna, as taught by Serge King – is that, “Energy flows where attention goes.”  What we oppose we feed with our energy and it grows stronger.  Often, in fighting against something, we inadvertently strengthen it without realizing it – making it more real, more solid and harder to change.

Being in “opposition to” can, though not always, be motivated from a feeling like a victim. Anger at feeling it’s being done to us makes us want to lash out and force it to stop. In a subtle way, coming from this reaction, reaffirms the position of victimhood.

Taking a stand of opposition has within it the inherent goal of eliminating what it opposes.  It engages “us” and “them” thinking – the “them” being the enemy.  This dynamic allows for only two points of view and those with a different perspective – perhaps even a more neutral one – often get lumped in with the “other side.”  A posture of two opposing sides tends to reduce listening and eliminate other options for solution.  With so much energy focused on the fight we sometimes overlook the chance to think “outside the box” and find new results.

In addition, there are a couple of ideas that one of my teachers, Lazaris, refers to: paradox and paradigm.  A paradox is when there are opposites and seemingly no answer.  By resolving the paradox – a process, not of blending them, but of going through the opposites to the other side – answers can be found, often unthought-of ones. These oppositions can be opportunities to move beyond limitation to new discoveries.

In the New Age there is the concept of paradigm, old and new, which represent the values and beliefs society operates under.  The old paradigm, sometimes called the chauvinistic paradigm, is one of hierarchy, win/lose, power over, us/them, and get ahead at the other’s expense.  Over the past few years many are seeing a shift and movement to a new paradigm.  This new paradigm speaks to win-win, we’re all one, and a sense that everyone is connected, yet individual too.  We can’t use the old paradigm to fight our way free from the old paradigm. We have to embrace a new way of being and move forward.

“The general who wins the battle makes many calculations in his temple before the battle is fought. The general who loses makes but few calculations beforehand.”  – Sun Tzu

Solutions – the YES as opposed to the NO

We can approach these challenges from the old paradigm of “fighting against” and hope to win.  Or we can see these challenges as opportunities to reach beyond our limitations and seek new and inventive solutions.

Most, if not all people involved in the New Age movement have heard of the Law of Attraction.  While it is important to acknowledge what is “not working” – what may pose a threat to our health and well being – it is vital to focus on solutions.  To put attention on the fight to the exclusion of seeking solutions strengthens the problems.

In positive outcomes, where there was conflict, there was a “Yes,” a solution, that stood as an alternative to fighting against.  When more energy flowed into the solution than went into the struggle to stop, the resolution began to unfold.  Without a clearly defined “Yes,” the “No” is what gets energized.  It is enticing to continue to push against what we don’t want, but it is important to reach for solutions to pull ourselves into the new future.

Is there something your life or your world you’d like to shift?  What possible solution is being abandoned in the focus on the fight?  What “No” is getting the attention and energy that could be given to a “Yes.”  I’m not suggesting that the “No” be ignored.

Acknowledge it, and if you have attachments to the fight do whatever personal processing you need to on it.  These challenges are also opportunities for us to do our inner work.  When you are ready, turn and clearly define your “Yes” and begin to energize that.

What solution can you uncover in your personal challenges that you can say “Yes” to?  Is there a “Yes” you can find that will help your community?  And what is the greater “Yes” for humanity and the world?


For more information on Huna & Serge King –


For more information on Lazaris –


The Website for Sun Tzu Quotes –


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A Consideration on Power

When you give up grasping for influence and control - that’s when you begin to find real power.


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Creativity Returning

Recently I was on O’ahu for minor surgery. That little trip opened the doors for the return of my urge to paint – something that hasn’t been there for 10 years or more. Needless to say it feels very strange, and a bit like the myth of Persephone coming out from the underworld. I have memories of how to paint, but the actual process seems all new. I know I cannot paint in the way I used to – representational art of landscapes, still life’s and portraits. I no longer have the focus or inner discipline for that. Now, it is freeform with lots of fingers and whatever tools are to hand. No formulas, no structure, no color schemes. It is more like lying down codes of shapes, symbols and colors to find the essential in the seeming form.

The other day I had a memory of buttercups, those little bright yellow flowers that grow wild in fields in Pennsylvania in the summers. I felt the absolute delight of the “then moment” of the 6 year old wonder at the intricacy of the yellow universe. The “then moment” was also the now moment for that moment. A nice visit.

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End of the Year –

Well, I spent most of the day working on the renovation to the unit behind my garage. I’m turning it into an office type space. It feel so good to finally get the place cleaned up. I don’t think it’s seen a coat of paint since it was built nearly 20 years ago. One of the door frames hadn’t even been painted or primed, it was just left as bare wood – and only the top of it, the sides were primed. Today I got all the “smelly” stuff finished – the painting’s done and now the cabinets are varnished. The rugs are unrolled and it all can air out for the next few days. A couple of small things like a towel bar and bathroom mirror to hang and I can start putting in the desk and other furniture. So rewarding to see something to completion!

And now, I’ve just learned how to pair my iPad with a wireless keyboard, and am writing this post from my iPad. How does it get any better?

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